episode 1

Mission Statement:
"What else were you going to do today?"
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The Giftshop Is Open!
Always remember Rule #2: If you can't afford the admission, just visit the giftshop! Now we've got a giftshop of our very own! Free screensavers! Free wallpaper! Not free T-shirts, hats, and bumper stickers! Mel Underoos! That's right, I said Mel Underoos!

Get 'em while they're hot at http://giftshop.beimers.com!

we did it!
Welcome to roadtrip.beimers.com! If you're looking for travel advice, handy tips and tricks, city transit maps and the like, then go somewhere else. Don't bother trying to use our site for research either. It's so self-serving, its a wonder it ever caught on.

what have we done?
Aimee and Kevin (that's us), a couple of friendly, talented and adventurous Canadians, had a fleeting thought one rainy afternoon that, boy, wouldn't it be cool to just drop everything, hop into Mel the Jeep and careen all over the United States, visiting, experiencing and generally poking fun at all things American?

It certainly was. 48 states, 5 provinces, 200 days and $2000 in gas later, we'd gone from Eastport, Maine to Key West, North Dakota to Southern California. Not surprisingly, every single day we found something new to giggle about.

where does one begin?
Like most reading material in the Western Hemisphere, this site is meant to be read left to right. You could start as far back as six weeks prior to the trip, when we moved out of New Jersey and headed back up to the homeland for a while. If you're like most Americans, and don't give a rat's ass about Canada, you might be more interested in Day One, the day we entered Maine and began this ridiculous undertaking. Or, work your way back from the end of the trip in good old western Washington state.

If you're looking for highlights, you might want to visit the infernal Map, which has a link to every single page of the site. Trace your way through to your favourite spots, like Disney World, Yellowstone National Park, Las Vegas, or the birthplace of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

<< start at the beginning       start in the middle       start at the end >>

Yeehaw! Make good use of those yesterday and tomorrow buttons, buckaroos! Send us your comments from time to time, should you be inspired, or insulted. All the better if you're insulted.

see you in australia!

your friends,
kev & aim

Where'd we go next?


Find us at australia.beimers.com!

Tell your friends about giftshop.beimers.com!
200 days of madness
Still no entries? It's a pretty big damn prize! More clues for yous:

Clue #7: Question 4
During Christmas we played a lot of Mario Kart, and the winner is the same bozo who won almost every other contest on our site.

Clue #8: Question 11a
This man can answer all of your questions, except: Who shot J.R.?

Clue #9: Question 15a
Home of an 80 foot dinosaur, a 6 foot jackelope and a crapload of coonskin caps.

Check back in a while for more clues...
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© 2002. Kevin Beimers and Aimee Lingman. American roads. Canadian Humour.