day 11
across massachusetts

"Hey Kristina, there's a couple out here that say they invented the persian." -Betty.
home...   map...   photos...   contact us...     giftshop!
Population: 6,133,500
Land Area: 7,838 sq. mi.
Highest Pt.: Mt. Greylock
Height: 3,487 ft.
Capital: Boston
Largest City: Boston

Claim to Fame: The state that is most difficult to spell (and in Aimee's case, the most difficult to say).

Runners-Up in the Crappy Paper Mache Animal of the Day

Ware: The town that can't be licked!
In the early 1800s, Ware's textile industry was beginning to decline. The businesses were leaving for better prospects, and soon the town was heading towards ghost-dom. The citizens saw where this was going and decided that something had to be done.

Everyone in the town pooled their life savings together, bought back the textile plants and before you could say "tweeds and tartans" the city was back in business. From that day forth, Ware was heralded in papers across the country as "The Town that Can't Be Licked!"

Roadside Detractions
Sept 6 -
All we wanted to do was get across to the other side of Massachusetts. It seemed like a simple plan; we could have been in Boston in two hours, tops. But no, we quickly got sucked in by the touristational pull of the Massachusetts flair for the weird. They seem to like paper mache. It's not even nice paper mache. It was a contest of the disturbing -- as in the nine foot shit-beaver proudly displayed here -- which made our day the adventure that it was.

Our first stop was the Jacob's Pillow Dance Festival. We had pillows in the car and everything. We were pumped! We didn't know who this Jacob character was, but we were sure he was a hoot to watch, flinging those pillows around... As we got closer, it didn't look as fun as the name would suggest. "Where are the pillows?" we kept asking. Maybe they were closed for the season. Maybe the pillow dance was nightly rather than daily.

If we can all take a step backwards, when you read "Jacob's Pillow Dance Festival", do you expect pillows? We sure did. Turns out, the name of the stinkin' town is Jacob's Pillow. So it's the Jacob's Pillow / Dance Festival. Not the Jacob's / Pillow Dance Festival. What a friggin' let down. We moped back to the car.

What the...?
Well lookee here. This certainly adds another dimension to the Persian debate. According to the owners of Kristina's Kafe & Bakery in Belchertown, they say a Persian is a HONEY BUN with MAPLE ICING, topped with WALNUTS.

We need to show 'em what a real Persian is! Someone in Thunder Bay, please mail a 6-pack of RASPBERRY persians to:

Kristina's Kafe & Bakery
37 State St, Box 879
Belchertown, MA, 01007
Now, we're trying to conduct a nice, honest roadtrip here. We rarely speed and we've never undertipped, unless it's deserved. So that's why we feel compelled to admit that today we committed a felony. We broke into the Nash Dinosaur Tracks park.

The parking lot was deserted except for one car. The sign outside said Open Please Honk, so we honked. And shouted Hello. And circled the building. And peered in the windows. No one showed up to let us in, so we crawled under the fence and had a little look around, intending to slide two dollars under the door on our way out. After all, when were we ever going to be back to Nash?

The answer came swiftly once we were inside: Never. The only really positive thing we can say about the place is "Perhaps they had better stuff in the gift shop." We couldn't even figure out what to take pictures of, besides the paper mache dinosaurs of course. So, one could say the we haven't violated any copyright laws by posting the secrets of the park on the web. The only crime we committed was not paying the admission fee (the fee being its own crime, so we're even).

So, if you folks at Nash Dinosaur Tracks would care to open your door next time someone honks, you might get a nicer writeup next time. Or, at the very least, four dollars that could be put towards more paper mache to add some musculature to that skinny guy's legs.

wild and wacky...

And we brought pillows n' everything

Pray for the people who trim the hedge

Betty and Kristina of the faux-persians

Cornholio shops here!
more photos in the archive...

Current Location
(get out your push pins)

Da Whole Ding Dang State

Next Stop: Salem, MA

see the full map...

Today's Weather:
You know the routine.

Daily Stats
Radio:93.1 fm

Sleeping Quarters
Winter Island Campground

It was like camping at the Thunder Bay Marina. Aimee kept her shoes on in the shower. The factory in the background is the Salem Sewage Plant. We strongly recommend never staying here.

Cost: $15.00

October Mt.
Shared:Three rolls with Rasp. Jam
Kristina's Kafe
K's Order:Shredded Steak Sandwich
A's Order:Grilled Cheese
Pea Soup
Mass. Persian
Winter Island
K's Order:Leftover Noodles
Froot Loops
A's Order:Leftover Noodles
Supreme Muesli

© 2001. Kevin Beimers and Aimee Lingman. Springfield, Springfield, It's a hell of a town.