day 8
guilford, vermont

"Keep your tickets to win a chainsaw bear!."
- fair announcer.
home...   map...   photos...   contact us...     giftshop!
Town Fair:
Admission: $5/person
Bingo: 25 cents/card
Chicken Dinner: $7.00
Dunk Tank: 3 Balls/$1
Lemonade: $1.00
Maple Floss: $1.50

Claims to Fame: Hazel, the award winning lamb, and live performances by The Swingin' Doors and Woodchuck's Revenge.

Raffle Prize of the Day
Fair Schedule:
8am - Gates Open
8am - Adult and Youth Horse Show
9am - Dog Agility Demos Match
10am - Horse Drawing
10am - Cattle Judging
10am - Horse Shoe Pitching Contest
10am to 2pm - Farmer for a Day
10am to 4pm - Bingo with Broad Brook Grange
11am - Livestock Judging
Noon - Chicken BBQ by Guildford Vol. Fire Dept.
1pm to 5pm - From the Stage: Swinging Doors Country Band
2pm - Chain Saw Contest
2pm - Cross-cut Saw Contest
2pm - Cant Hook Log Rolling Contest
3pm - Raffle Drawing for Chainsaw Sculptured 5 ft. Bear

Throughout the day:
Pony Rides
Chain Saw Artist Demos
Sheep Shearing Demos
Face Painting

Bingo was His Name-o
Sept 3 - It's Labour Day here in the U.S. of A. Kev has a hankering to do something worthy of the day, not just drive to our next destination. Needless to say we had high expectations. And we've got to say that the Guildford County Fair definitely lived up to them. If it hadn't been for a quick gas stop at the Mobil, we never even would have seen the poster for the fair. Dumb luck is guiding this trip, and it was working overtime today.

We saw the cars before we saw the fair. It looked as though everyone in the surrounding five counties was out for excitement. And what excitement! First stop: The Cow Plop. This enticing contest required you to purchase an 18-inch square of land with 300 other lucky contestants. At 4pm sharp they bring out Bessie and let her go at it on the lawn. The plot where her plop lands wins the daily 50/50!

Our two main attractions were the Dog Agility and Chain Saw contests (that's two separate contests). Although they were on opposite sides of the fairgrounds, we caught them both and are now better people because of it. In fact, we almost entered the cross-cut saw competition, but when we saw another "city couple" royally mess it up, we gave it a pass.

It was on to the Dog Agility. In case you're not versed in the ways of agility, overly frisky dogs are run through an obstacle course similiar to horse jumping. Except horses don't go through plastic tunnels and hoops. If you're looking to buy a dog agile enough for competition, pick yourself up an Australian Shepherd. They were kicking ass at the fair.

All in all, if you gotta say one thing about Guilfordians, they sure know how to have a rip-roarin' rootin-tootin' knee-slappin' time! YEEEE-HAWWWW!!! Now which way to the Mechanical Bull?

The Morning Report: Meet Edie Race,
Waitress at the Rusty Bucket

Age: 20 yrs.
Place of Birth: Denver, Colorado
History: Edie was a cheerleader for seven years until she froze during a basket toss and hit the cement with her knees. Ouch. But she went on to coach cheerleading, and brought the Pop Warner seven year olds all the way to a gold medal!
Close Call: She almost went to Columbine High School. She lived two blocks away, but moved two years before the incident.
Upcoming Education: She's about to enter either Franklin Pierce or Keene State to become a paralegal. We hope she goes to Keene State - Maybe she'll meet Commander Keene!
Place of Business: If you'd been with us, you could have met Edie, in Jaffrey, Vermont at the Rusty Bucket. They've got the best coffee in New England. However, today was her last day.
Why It's Her Last Day: A couple of reasons. She's heading back to school, so it's time to move back home with Mom to save some money. And she and her now ex-boyfriend have split up because he's got to go and live on campus this semester. It's a big mish-mash of bad timing.
Daily Tip Intake: About 20 bucks.
Weird Happening: A 90yr old freak man from New Ipswitch was stalking her and he followed her into the kitchen.
What Edie Thinks About W8N4U Man: He's a typical man (no offense to Kevin). He takes no responsibility, buys all his toys before he'll pay the rent. He's got a totally messed up lack of priorities. And he always hits on Edie.
Brush With Greatness: You know the house that is in the opening credits of Mork And Mindy? She used to live in that house. (In case you're wondering, the house is in Colorado Springs).

award winning harvest...

Award-winning Corn Bread

Award-winning Maple Cake

Award-winning Chili Peppers

Award-winning Cherry Tomatoes
more photos in the archive...

Current Location
(get out your push pins)

Guilford, VT

Next Stop: Waterbury, VT

see the full map...

Today's Weather:
It's "fair"ly hot!

Daily Stats

Cards per Game:4
Games Played:3
Games Won:0

Sleeping Quarters
Smuggler's Notch S. P.

Arrived after the ranger's lodge had closed for the evening. The next morning, the ranger commended us for our honesty. Apparently, most people who don't pay on the way in don't pay on the way out, either.

Cost: $12.00

Rusty Bucket
Jaffrey, VT
K's Order:Three Blueberry Pancakes
Two Eggs Over Easy
Sourdough Toast
Again, Coffee
A's Order:Special #1
Amazing Coffee
BBQ Booth
Guilford Fair
c/o the Guilford Volunteer Fire Dept.
Shared:BBQ Chicken
Corn on the Cob
Iced Tea
Near Stowe, VT
Shared:Smuggler's Notchos

© 2001. Kevin Beimers and Aimee Lingman. I like my women just a little on the trashy side.