day 181
hollywood boulevard

"Hey, I think the Spiderman guy changed into Superman pants." -k.
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See The Stars!
Or at least their footprints. Downtown L.A. puts you smack dab into the Hollywood you were looking for... Mann's Chinese Theatre, Hollywood & Highland, the works. You'll see the Kodak Theatre, the new home of the Oscars. You'll see the Walk of Fame. Best of all, you'll see all the crap you see in every tourist town from Mt. Rushmore to Copenhagen: Ripley's Odditorium, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, Guiness World of Disgusting Crap... you get the idea.

Politically Incorrect Costume of the Day
Today's Commute... Braving the 101

No gridlock, no jams, a smooth ride in. Of course, we'll see what it's like on Monday. Eep!
Today's Featured Street... Hollywood Blvd

If you want to see big Hollywood movie stars, all dressed up in their glamourous outfits and matching purses, signing autographs and generally making their presense known for photos and script proposals, then don't come here. This is where the tourists are.

However, you just might score some free tickets to a sitcom or two. This is where the agents scope for "live studio audiences." Why? Because the locals already know that a sitcom taping is boring as hell.
Tonight's Outdoor Mall... Downtown Disney

A fine attempt, to those who have never seen Downtown Disney in Florida.

At DisneyWorld, there's a section of DD that'll cost you a bit of admission, but once you're in it's loaded with free shows, bars with no cover, actors, DJs, live bands, big screens, comedy clubs, and loads of fun. The one in Disneyland is just a mall. Not bad, but a letdown after Florida.

Hey! There's a contest at the bottom of this page!

Weird Science
Feb 23 - Ah, Hollywood! The tourists come in droves with the slight hope of catching a glimpse of the stars they love. Maybe you'll see Bruce Willis at the Jamba Juice on Beverly. Maybe you'll catch Minnie Driver on her way out of the sports club after a few rounds of kickboxing. Maybe Dustan Hoffman will pop into Mann's Chinese Theatre, because he's been looking for the chance to catch Queen of the Damned.

But we know better. Oh yes, you can't depend on an accidental stumble to bring you and the stars together (although we did see Uma Thurman at an Italian Restaurant on Sunset four years ago). You have to get at them from the inside.

Through their church.

L. Ron Hubbard's Church of Scientology, the religion of the stars! John Travolta. Tom Cruise. Nicole Kidman. Forest Whitaker. That dude from Enemy of the State. They're all members.

This is Sean, not yet famous. He graded our papers with a smile.
Upon passing by a nondescript building on Hollywood & Highland, a nice young gentleman asked if we would like to take a personality and IQ test. Sure! Then we realized it was for the Church of Scientology. Even better! We'd been looking for our "in" for the entertainment industry, and if you want the best place to network, it's gotta be church.

Well, we were expecting a quick little personality test and a quick little IQ test, not an entrance exam. I wasn't prepared! What if I failed to meet the requirements of a super movie star? They wouldn't let me in. It would be like finding out it didn't have enough mitochlorians in my blood to become a jedi.

Here's how we fared:

Kevin's Score...

IQ: 148

I didn't think you could flunk a personality test, but apparently, I did. I scored so poorly that Sean asked if someone close to me had recently died. The only thing I scored above positive was in the Confidence category. To him, that meant my life was a mess, but I can keep it hidden. Other than that, I'm a neurotic, rude, unpleasant, nervous, angry, distraught individual with a genius level IQ. Heck, my mom could have told you that.
Aimee's Score...

IQ: 133

Aimee scored off the charts in pretty much every category, as you would have guessed. She's confident, smart, friendly and encouraging. Yep, she's the coolest. That's why I didn't marry her in Vegas.

Sean's only negative point: according to her results, she could never be a successful business woman. Okee dokee Sean!

So that was it. I had the brains, but my attitude sucked. I was a scientology failure. Aimee, as it would come at no surprise, was a shoe-in. Perky, cheerful, positive, and much smarter than Gwyneth Paltrow, I'm sure. While Aimee would be living the high church life with the rich and pious, I was doomed to be a non-famous nobody for the rest of my life, unless I could find another way to break into stardom.

Oh well. There's always the internet.

Hey! Here's that contest I was talking about!
I Smell A Contest!

Those guys on the silver screen think they're so big. Well, you know what they say: The smaller the feet, the bigger the ego.

How many of your favourite stars have bigger careers than cross trainers? We compared Kev's feet with the cement impressions in front of Mann's Chinese Theatre. Who measured up?

Enter to win a independent film by Dennis Woodruff, autographed to boot!

The answers are on Day 200!

Who's got bigger feet?
Kevin... or Humphrey Bogart?
Kevin... or Frank Sinatra?
Kevin... or Bruce Willis?
Kevin... or Steven Spielberg?
Kevin... or Marilyn Monroe?
Kevin... or Sean Connery?
Kevin... or Richard Gere?
Kevin... or George Lucas?
Kevin... or Tom Hanks?
Kevin... or C3PO?

Your Full Name:

Your Email:

who are they?

how did they?
more photos in the archive...

We've got mail...

I bought Kevin's shoes for years so I know he's got bigger than average feet. Edith Head is a clothing designer for movies. Andre K. is a composer of movie music.
I think...............
- Mom, Morelia MX

Here's who everyone is:

Don Alvarado: Actor from the golden age of movies. Made 33 movis from 1930 to 1939, playing usually a latino. Real name Don Page. Named Don Alvarado by a studio chief when driving past Alvarado St in LA.
Edith Head: 34 Oscar nominations and 8 wins, all for costume design. She worked on over 430 movies.
Andre Kostelanetz: Appearently some bigshot Music guy from the 30's.
Francot Tone: Actor, Once married to Joan Crawford. Nothing really big for him.
Paula Abdul: Who doesn't know her? Or who doesn't want to remember her? She's been doing alot of choreography, including for "Black Knight", "American Beauty", "Jerry Maguire", "The Doors", and many more.
Pee-Wee Herman: (Paul Reubens) We all know this guy, HA HA! I won't say what the word of the day is. I am guilty, Chris and I use to watch his show religiously. Then there was that thing in the theatre he did too.
John Tesh: He's famous? He was on Entertainment Tonight with that chick that has her legs insured for a cool million each. Then he did some crappy music.
Arsenio Hall: Yea, Arsenio's in the house. WOOF, WOOF. Big face, big nose.

There ya go. The last few give us all hope that if they can we can.
- Nolan, Calgary AB

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Current Location
(get out your push pins)

Los Angeles, CA

Next Stop: Drivin' Around

see the full map...

Today's Weather:
Star Studded

Daily Stats
Gas: $15.00
Carwash: $5.00
Carwash Rating: Fair

Wilcox Parking: $4.50
Mel's Valet: Free!

Sleeping Quarters
Malibu Creek State Park

Site 11. The nice lady staying in the next campsite over gave us a tarp. She'd bought it not knowing that it took a degree in Physics to put up, so thought we'd find better use for uch a crazy contraption. The rainy West Coast is approaching! Thanks ladies!

Cost: $12.00

Malibu Creek S.P.
Kevin:Apple Oatmeal
Aimee:Apple Oatmeal
In-N-Out Burger
Sunset, E of LaBrea
K's Order:Double Double, Fries, Lemonade
A's Order:Cheeseburger, Fries, Rasp Ice Tea
Mel's Drive-in
Sunset, farther down
K's Order:Melburger
A's Order:Onion Blossom

Burger Joint

The In-N-Out Burger
Specialty: Double Double
Price: $2.50
Fries: Like Swiss Chalet
Jingle: In-N-Out, In-N-Out, That's what our hamburger's all about.

When you tell someone from NY that you're in LA, they'll ask you, "Have you tried the In-N-Out Burger?" They either know it's good, or have heard it's good. That's pretty good word-of-mouth PR.

Well, it is good. In-N-Out is so good, in fact, that they only make burgers and fries. No chicken, no pizza, no fish. The four items on the menu are Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Double Double and Fries. And they do it well.

Overall Impression:

Your email address...

© 2002. Kevin Beimers and Aimee Lingman. Teetering on the brink of genius.