day 97
babyland general hospital

"Look! Someone's actually buying one!" -a.
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It's a Boy!:
Name: Andrew Mathew
Weight: 6lbs, 6oz
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Blonde
Birthing Process: Creepy

Claim to Fame: Back in the Eighties, parents used to line up for hours for the chance to buy one of these stuffed gems right at birth.
Now, admission is free.

Ice Cream Flavour of the Day
You're All Dumb!
few weeks ago, we asked why the Dunkin Donuts in Branson, Missouri had a bag of water hanging from their door. Some of you came close to guessing the correct answer, but since close only counts in curling and Mars missions, you get nothing!

Of course, on our site, sometimes getting nothing is better than the actual prize.

Would you like to know the real answer? Beg for it!
Sign up now for the Christmas Gift Exchange!

Quick! Scroll down to hide this hideous image!

Ack! They're everywhere!

Dec 1 - "If you hurry, you'll just make it in time for a birthing!" the welcome lady told us.

Lucky stars! We're here in time for a birth!

We hurried past the premmie nursery, skipped through the preschool playground and found ourselves under the crystal tree, the place where all Cabbage Patch Babies are born.

When Evan (Bruce's brother? The one who saw Glitter?) told us that there was a Babyland General Hospital in Georgia, we knew we'd have to see it for ourselves.

It's true. They really come from cabbages. And we saw it. We saw a Cabbage Patch Baby, hatched right from the produce section of the Piggly Wiggly!

Ha ha no. It was at the Babyland GH, but it was still out of a cabbage.

Recessive genes at work.
We were surprised that the Hospital had survived the Eighties, when it's obvious that the dolls sure didn't. When was the last time you lined up outside FAO Schwartz to buy your child a Cabbage Patch Kid?

The entire hospital is a tribute/museum/gift shop dedicated to Xavier Roberts' Eighties creation. You can buy just about anything you see and the babies (doll is a four letter word here) are all posed in different rooms that generally add to the creepiness of the whole joint. The staff are wearing operating scrubs, and they take their jobs seriously.

And so do the customers. Trust us, Cabbage Patch Kids are alive and well in the Georgian Hills. There are still people left who ooooo and ahhhhhhh over the premmies and spend hours trying to pick the doll, er, baby of their choice. And they all want the one they saw being born. They like them. They really like them.

It's a mystery around a puzzle wrapped in an enigma. Or something like that.

helen of joy...

All I want

for Christmas

is to get out

of this town!
more photos in the archive...

Current Location
(get out your push pins)

Cleveland, GA

Next Stop: Smoky Mountains

see the full map...

Today's Weather:
It's a Beauty!

Daily Stats
Gas: None
Brittle: Pecan

Sleeping Quarters
Smokemont State Park

Site 16. Not bad. It's always nice to see Boy Scouts camping out and learning to rough it.

Cost: $14.00

Fort Yargo
K's Order:Raisins & Spice Oatmeal
A's Order:Apple Oatmeal
el Cantalinna
K's Order:Chicken & Shrimp Fajita
A's Order:Lunch Special #1
Smokey Mountains
Shared:Jiffy Pop

We are proud to announce that tonight we successfully made Jiffy Pop! It can be done!

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© 2001. Kevin Beimers and Aimee Lingman. Ah don't know nuthin 'bout birthin' no babies!