day 103
tuscumbia, alabama

Q. Why do farts smell?
A. So deaf people can enjoy them too!
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State or Band: State
Nickname: Yellowhammer
Land Area: 50,750 sq. mi.
Highest Point: Cheaha Mtn.
Height: 2,405 ft.
Population: 4,335,400
Capital: Montgomery
Largest City: Birmingham

Claim to Fame: Alphabetically, the first state.
State or Band: Band
Members: Jeff Cook, Teddy Gentry, Mark Herndon, Randy Owen
Home Town: Lookout Mtn
Albums Sold: 45 million
First Hit: My Home's in Alabama

Claim to Fame: Carrying on the tradition of the mullet. Not unlike this fellow...

Helen Keller Learns to Drive
We Go to the Movies!
For a while we tried to escape the obvious fact that we were the only tourists (travellers) in Memphis by hiding out in the Peabody Place movie theatre. Here's what we saw!

Spy Game

Starring Robert Redford and Brad Pitt. This was pretty damn good. Redford is teaching Pitt how to be a spy and so you get to see all those cool spy-techniques. Also, you get to see Redford try to out-spy the CIA. Nice!


Starring Gene Hackman, Danny Devito, and Delroy Lindo. The movie was cute as a Chinese baby, but as long as a Chinaman's name. Forgive the Chinese comments, both were lines from the movie. Wasn't bad... a little too scripted and a little too predictable though.
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Alabama Woman Inspires Courage, Comedy
Dec 7 - At the age of six, a half-wild, deaf and blind girl named Helen Keller was taken by her parents to see Dr. Alexander Graham Bell. Because of her visit, Helen was reunited with her teacher Anne Mansfield Sullivan on March 3, 1887.

After Helen's miraculous breakthrough at the simple well-pump, she proved so gifted that she soon learned the

The Miracle Well
finger-tip alphabet and shortly afterward learned to write. By the end of that August, in six short months, she knew 625 words.

Helen Keller, that little girl, became one of history's remarkable women. She dedicated her life to improving the conditions of the blind and deaf-blind around the world. Wherever she appeared, she brought courage to millions of blind people.

And became the butt of millions of tasteless jokes. Such as these beauties.

Q. How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A. By rearranging the furniture.

Q. What is Helen Keller's favourite colour?
A. Corduroy.

Q. Why was Helen Keller's leg wet?
A. Her dog was blind too.

Q. Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard?
A. Neither did she.

Q. How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
A. Answering the stapler.

Q. Did you hear about Helen Keller's new book?
A. Around the Block in 80 Days.

These, and thousands more, can be found on the Internet simply by typing "Helen Keller Jokes" into a major search engine, which shows what an impact Helen Keller has had on those who can see and hear. She has truly become a source of laughter and merriment to us all.

Let's talk about the Skyline Contest.
Back on Day 95 we introduced a brilliant contest: we show you pictures of skylines and a list of cities. The rules were simple: Match the skyline with the city. It was difficult, yes, but the names were there, and there were only nine to choose from.

Know what we received? Two wild guesses. The rest of you were just a bunch of little babies crying. "Boo hoo hoo! It's too hard!" Well look, bucko, you don't get applause for going to the potty anymore, so you can work for your prize. Land sakes alive, two guesses.

Then we thought, maybe our prizes aren't good enough. We received this telling e-mail the other day....
My previous experience with the Beimers/Lingman compact would indicate that a "wonderous" prize has a high propensity of being an object and/or service of limited commercial value, at least in the developed world.

That being said, I may just apply my urban planning skills to the solving of this riddle. Salk invented the polio vaccine, maybe now I can do something for humanity as well.

Hope your exploration of the US (with apparent forensic zeal) is going well.


Here's what others have said about the Skyline Contest:
"I've been through Cleveland 75 million times and I still can't pick it out!"
"Your contest is H-A-R-D."
"You've got to give us hints on this one. It's impossible."

Here's what we say about the Skyline Contest:
Nolan: Thanks for giving it a shot. Guess again though!
Gordo: No, the answer is not ABCDEFGHI. No soup for you!
The rest of you: You've got another week to guess this one. Should someone actually get it right, boy oh boy, have we got a doozy of a present for you! Don't be afraid, it's wonderous.

You want a hint? E is Chicago. There's your hint. Now get on it.

So get your butt over to Day 95 and enter the contest!

signs she never saw...

Almost there

Getting Closer

We're Here!

6 bucks to get in?
more photos in the archive...

We've got mail...

Hi Kevin and Aimee,
I have been following your web site for many months. It totally rocks. If you drive through Alabama, I have a few suggestions for some rather bizarre places to visit.

My first suggestion is St. Nick's Christmas and Knife store in Perdido Key. Yes, that's can stock up on your holiday decorations AND your cutlery at the same time! You must see this place just for the bizarre sign that has sexy elves sliding down the edge of a wicked-looking knife. Take a look at my vacation photo for a close-up of the sign.

Just up the highway a bit, in Foley, AL, there is a restaurant called Lambert's. Lambert's serves really yummy and fattening traditional southern food: corn bread, black eyed peas, chicken and dumplings, etc. But what really makes Lambert's stand out is that it is the self-proclaimed "Home of the Throwed Rolls". Now, when I first heard this I thought "oh, that must be some special way of making the rolls" but no. What it actually means is that they THROW the rolls around the restaurant. If you want a roll at any point during your meal you just put your hand up and someone will chuk one at you. For the entire duration of the meal countless rolls whiz by over your head.

I think both of these places would give you great material for your site. So if you get a chance to swing down to the southern tip of Alabama, you simply must stop by. Good luck with the rest of your trip and keep up the great work on the site!
- Betsy, New York NY

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Current Location
(get out your push pins)

Tuscumbia, AL

Next Stop: New Orleans

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Today's Weather:
Not too hot, not too cold

Daily Stats
Gas: $26.99

Town of:Gu-Win
And Town of: Guin
Used to be:One Town
Why Separate? Taxes

Sleeping Quarters
Lake Lurleeen State Park

Site 27. Looks like we bagged us a Homer. The most beautifully laid out park we've seen in a while. Each campsite has it's own balcony and it's own lakefront view. Bunk with me tonight?

Cost: $15.05

John's Pad
Midtown Memphis
A's Order:Coffee & Coffee
CiCi's Pizza
Highway 72
Both:All You Can Eat Pizza

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© 2001. Kevin Beimers and Aimee Lingman. We put the 'scum' in Tuscumbia.