January 5: |
Everyone loves Chili Night! Nothing warms the bones more on a cold winter night than a hearty bowl of meaty
We followed it up with another rousing game of Ruin the Flick. This time, the
movie was Dolemite II: The Human Tornado, a tremendous piece of crap from the blaxploitation era.
It's best described as a sixth-rate Shaft.
How to play Ruin The Flick
First, head to your local video store and find the dumbest movie imaginable in a certain predictable genre (i.e.
action, horror, romantic comedy).
Before starting the movie, everyone in the room fills out a sheet of question, such as the following:
Will there be...
...a rooftop chase? (Y/N)
...a scene in an abandoned warehouse? (Y/N)
...an Asian fellow who knows martial arts? (Y/N)
...a disobeyed order to "wait in the car"? (Y/N)
What car does the main character drive?
What city will it take place in?
What will the body count be by the end of the flick?
You get the idea. There are several sets of questions that need to be answered throughout the flick
as well. For example, after 10 minutes, stop the tape and take a guess at how many cigarettes you'll see
in the next twenty minutes. How many cops? How many F-words?
Play stops again at the 30 minute mark to ask when you'll see the next food being eaten, the next door slam,
parking meter, woman screaming, or man wearing a hat. Then (my favourite) at 60 minutes, everyone has
to guess what will happen from this point until the end of the flick. Closest to the truth wins an additional
Then there's what Dean likes to call "The Golden Snitch". At 90 minutes, you stop it once more, make a few
predictions about the end, including "What will the final spoken word be?". It's a shot in the dark, but it's
worth 150 points. And believe it or not, Shawn actually guessed it when we played
two days ago. We couldn't believe it.
The final word for Dolemite II: The Human Tornado? It was "Tornado." Should have seen that coming.
On the fourteenth day of Christmas, it was so spicy...
Fourteen bowls of chili,
thirteen weeks to go,
twelve hours of driving,
eleven parts to order,
ten seconds 'til midnight,
nine hours of TV,
eight errands to run,
seven bags of chips,
six rounds of Kart...
Five tubbin' hotties!
Four tons of gifts,
two busy bees,
and a big silly guy named Dean.
Another night on the comfy couch. Another night throwing the nephews around. Another night falling asleep
in front of the TV. Is there anything better?
Kevin's Chili Recipe
1.5 lbs ground beef
3 cans red kidney beans
3+ peppers (any colour)
1 can diced tomatoes
A bunch of crushed chilis
Any other veggies on hand
Any spices that smell good
1 huge pot, 1 pan
1. Put the pot on low backburner and the pan on high frontburner.
2. Open the three cans of beans and dump the bean juice down the sink.
3. Dump the beans into the pot.
4. While beans are warming, brown the beef in the pan (add spices to meat, like italian seasoning, oregano, chilis, etc). Keep stirring beans.
5. Chop up all of your onions, while remembering to flip meat and stir beans.
6. When meat is browned, dump into beans.
7. Place onions into pan, stir beans and meat, start cutting up peppers.
8. Keep stirring, keep cutting peppers and adding them to the pot.
9. When onions are done, add to pot. Place pan in sink.
10. Turn down frontburner to low, turn off backburner. Move pot to front burner.
11. Stir for a while.
12. Cut up your tomato, place on top.
13. Open can of tomatoes, dump on top.
14. Wait ten minutes, then stir.
15. Let simmer, stirring occasionally. Add crushed chilis to taste.
|Mom & Pop's|
They're bad, you know it. We can't believe that the 'rents made it as far as the Badlands but didn't make it to Devil's Tower. A shame.