on the sixteenth
day of christmas...

"You're right... I don't think that's crappy enough." -a.
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Announcing... The King & Queen of Crap!
Some of you may remember Jen & Jon as our campfire buddies from Assateague National Seashore in Maryland. Others may remember the telling of their remote control duck story at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis. The rest of you, well, for you they will be forever immortalized as King and Queen of this year's Crappy Gift Exchange! Huzzah!

Since this year's was a Mail Order Crappy Gift Exchange, we expected a lot of small crap to be tossed around, or at least, lightweight, so as not to get charged up the wazoo for postage. For the most part, we were right.

But Jen & Jon from Pennsylvania, they clearly went above and beyond the call of duty. Cliff (their recipient, and Kev's next door neighbour) received the biggest crap of all, outshining all of this year's participants and every other year since the beginning. And they were rookies to the event!

Cliff received an six-foot, American-themed, 300-watt carousel horse lamp. It was the most hideous thing we had ever seen. We almost wept.

Anyway, congratulations to everyone who participated in this year's CGE! Pat yourselves on the backside for crap well sent.

What is the CGE?

Who entered the CGE?

Crappy Gifts Available Here!

On the sixteenth day of Christmas, Cliff was pleased to see...

The Crappiest Gift Of All!

Fifteen fast food French fries,
fourteen bowls of chili,
thirteen weeks to go,
twelve hours of driving,
eleven parts to order,
ten seconds 'til midnight,
nine hours of TV,
eight errands to run,
seven bags of chips,
six rounds of Kart...
Five tubbin' hotties!
Four tons of gifts,
three nephews,
two busy bees,
and a big silly guy named Dean.

more crap...

Colin: The Mood Ball

Michael & Idana: Seashell Bunny

Jon: Colonel Sanders' Mandolins

Jen: The Poo Pen

Stasia: Yo Quiero Jesus Nightshirt

Danny: Clint Black Embroidery Kit
more photos in the archive...

Where's Yours?
As you can see by the photos, we've only got an accurate record of seven gifts received. Now, we know for a fact that there's a Jesus Action Figure out there, along with a buzzy bee cookie jar, a fruitcake, some fish slippers, and a pair of Roy Orbison underpants. We want photos!

Send them to us!

Current Location
(get out your push pins)

Thunder Bay, ON
see the full map...

Today's Weather:
Probably a nice day

Crap Stats
Gifts Mailed:24

That's right. There are still two poor children out there (that we know) that didn't get their crap!

If you're the slacker that should have sent Christmas crap to
Robbie or Anthony, then

If you weren't involved in the crappy gift exchange this year, but would like to send something crappy to either of these depressed little boys,
Write to us!
And we'll give you their address.

Mom & Pop's
Road Stops

Four Corners
Every family has to have at least one member captured forever in this exact pose on this exact spot.
We've got one too,
from Day 150.

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© 2002. Kevin Beimers and Aimee Lingman. Don't forget your stocking!